I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
