next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
