strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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