you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
