Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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