Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
