I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
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