i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
