you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
