Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
