made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
