Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
