Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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