I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
