He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize