We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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