I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just gargled with NyQuil
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
