Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
