brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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