I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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