Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
