did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you win again, gameday.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
