yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
