Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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