the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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