I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
3 2 1 whiskey
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
