he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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