It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
