And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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