I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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