you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
