Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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