i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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