Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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