Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
