Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i believe in u and ur pee
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
