The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
