I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
