yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
