new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize