Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
