Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
