how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
