U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
