Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
