Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
