ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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