I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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