I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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