woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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