i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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