The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize