Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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