how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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