Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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