great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think my fart just growled at me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
