Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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