The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
