Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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