What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
