So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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